9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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