these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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