i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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