You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize