Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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