I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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