You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think we might need a safe word for this...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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