We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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