You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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