I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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