i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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