I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There are leaves in my underwear?
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