I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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