Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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