I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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