I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize