Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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