just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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