im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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