Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i barfeds in our rink
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize