she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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