Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize