thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize