and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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