Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
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Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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