I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize