Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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