I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize