I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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