It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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