eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize