thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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