I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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