Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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