just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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