Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize