the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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