Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize