maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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