epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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