Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize