before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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