She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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