ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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