new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize