she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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