Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need moral support for this bender
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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