I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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