Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize