Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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